Terrace House: Tokyo 2019-2020 -
Peppe! Best wishes

Well I was wrong. Again. And I am surpised.

In my last post - based around episodes 16 and 17 - I guessed that the new guy - an Italian - Peppe - was not going to fail to attract a woman in the house in the way that his predecessors had. But between episodes 21 to 24 we watched the potential for relationship between Peppe and Haruka disappear. An in the end Peppe and Haruka left the house - an unlike Risako and Kenny - with no hope of getting together.

What happened?

The short answer to that - is this: nothing.

Everything was explained in a brief but very enlightening discussion between Haruka and Emika (in episode 22) where the girls are cooking together. The following excerpt from their discussion is necessary reading for all men:

Emika: “What does it really mean to be into someone? I don’t even know anymore.”

Haruka: “I guess if you can imagine making out with them and stuff.”

Emika: “That is a pretty big defining factor”

Haruka: “In the end if you would sleep with them”

Emika: “It really comes down to if you would be physical with them”

Haruka: “Yep”

Haruka: “They can be a great person, yet sometimes you just can’t see them as a man. They end up being a cool person who’s just a friend”

Then soon, after: Haruka: “Peppe, feels like a great friend to have around. I haven’t really seen him in a situation where he seems super manly…”

That’s pretty much it. Peppe is in the friend-zone. Those of us who have found ourselves there know it is a difficult place to get out of.

Peppe does take Haruka out on another date after this - to a beautiful lake. He tries to make a move by offering her his jacket - which fails. He does the ‘confession of feelings’ thing that seems to be a part of this show. Is this a Japanese thing? It achieves nothing - not just in this situation but in every other situation between the guys and girls on this show. And he asks for and gets another date.

But the situation on the next date in episode 24 is impossible. The reality of this show is that the participants can watch the past episodes or check comments on social media about the episodes. And if Peppe made the mistake of watching episode 22 he will know that Haruka doesn’t see him as masculine. So his romantic and expensive date on the top floor of some fancy Tokyo hotel is just a waste of time and money. Before the date we see Peppe waiting with a bunch of flowers. But we can clearly see that he is a broken man. His confidence is gone. After the date, they head home together and sit on the lounge together. And again there is a brief moment where Peppe could have gone in for a kiss - but he doesn’t.

And that’s it then for Haruka and Peppe.

Of course - the presence of cameras and the knowledge that there is a panel and an international audience (me included :-)) critiquing your moves isn’t going to make it any easier for a nervous guy.

Soon after they both decide to leave the house.

So what can we learn from this? As men it can seem pretty frustrating and scary. If a man as good looking, talented and initially confident as Peppe can’t win his girl over then what hope is there for the rest of us?

Well the lesson seems clear I think guys: Go for the kiss at the first opportunity that you can. If you are on a lounge together and there is no handbag between you and her, she hasn’t put a cushion on her lap and she is matching eye contact with you it is time to start making some moves. If she isn’t ready, she will know how to reject an attempt to kiss her. Act like nothing has happened and continue the conversation.

A woman will forgive an attempt to kiss her when she wasn’t quite ready. But she won’t forgive a failure to try when she was.

And that’s not a conscious thing. It’s built into the emotional wiring of a woman.

In Peppe’s case, he needed to kiss her (or try to kiss her) on their very first romantic time together when they were on the balcony and he made her the Orange cocktail - right back in episode 16. Maybe he did and she rejected him and the cameras cut that out. But the producer’s didn’t cut out Kenny’s awkward and failed attempts to kiss Risako after he had left it way too late.

So the evidence from Ruka with Risako, Kenny with Haruka, Kenny with Risako and now Peppe with Haruka shows this:

• lots of dating across tables achieves nothing
• confessions of feelings achieves nothing
• leaving attempts to become physical (eg. going for a kiss) for weeks on end leads nowhere

We have yet to see any evidence that going in for a kiss as soon as she might be ready does any harm - because it doesn’t look like any of the men have tried - even though the opportunity was there - often clearly.

What’s next? 4 men have left the house now without what they came for. Ryo remains and two new guys will enter and a new girl.

Not sure if I will be writing about part 3. Something really sad happens and so, gotta question if it is appropriate to delve too much further.

Terrace House: Tokyo 2019-2020 is on Netflix.